GanonCanon
by JIGGLYVONCHEESE
Summary: Ganon is the king of the Hyrule but then Link is kidnapped and so is Zelda and the triforce goes missing and then somebody very important dies and then theres a fire and then someone trips and then a volcano and then a sea monster and then Midna and then a turtle and this is my best fic ever so everyone that is a person should read or I will kill you with my knife.
1. Chapter 1

A/N This is my zelda fic as promised and I hopehope you guys are smarties not like those ugly dorctor who people who dont know good stuff so review as always or I steal your soul :&

Ganon was in his castle becuase hes the king of the kingdome and everyone was his slave. He had won the war of the worlds and then he was king like the king he his bein right now.

"OHmigod where is my servant?" He wizarded and his throneroom was empty like his heart. Cept it wasnt becuase people were there.

Then link came.

"Aw there you are. Give me sum sparkle water. BTW your cute" he warzoned at link.

"Ok" link said then he waltzed away but on the inside he was so hot like a topaz because he had a secret crush on ganon but he also loved zelda so what could he do?

It was fifty million minutes before ganon got his lemonade becasue link was so sad that he was confused so he tortured himself in the castle prison and made crafts, then he got a text frum Ganon

"Whrs my soda lol" it was.

Link guluped beacause that was so hot and also ganon was so mad so link hurried up.

When he got back there was a suprise.

"Link would you go to teh prom with me?" Ganon screamed.

"yessiree" link thundered then he went back to his house in the balcony.

There was zelda waitin.

"Link would you go to teh prom with me?" Zelda screamed.

"yessiree" link thundered then he went to bed.

But he had asked two ppl to the prom andn they didnt know about each other aaaaah drama cliffhangar


	2. Chapter 2

A/N Sorry its been a nbit but I had mono but its cool now so I wrote more these are the words that are what they be so you read that they are here and this is the story that I write that you read now.

Oh and why was my other storu WAMW taken down it was super goooooood just read the one before if You want to KK?

It was the prom. Then it wasnt.

(Link went w/selda BTW just so YOU know)

Link woke up and then the phone rang who could it be it was zelda obvoiusly how could you not know that why do i have to explane everything just figure it out you stupid dumbo.

"Link Im pregnat also you got hiv ha" she shuckled then she hung up the phone by derping it.

Link was in sadness what could he do? LIke for reals it was worse than the math test btw he failed that soooo hard and it was just calculus but thats OK hes allowed to be stupid at least he's smarter than YOU.

Then Ganondork came "LINK I have the cure for you" he said then he rammed himself down links throat.

All was super happy like marijuana.

But what about zelda pregnatn?

review now or I slice your spleeeeeeeeeeen


	3. almostsex

A/N So I was bluing the paper GET IT BECAUASE I"M BLUE and then i realized that this thing happnend so I wrote about it its' called this fic thats what it is if you guesses right then Ima hafta put you in the naughty cage rawr.

5959954854905839057829035702 8395739085797839572398475890 3578395739039783947neeps9284 7290473

Link sexted ganon "Hey dude I like youre body btw that is not a lip servicing you fine like shoeshine"

Ganon said "WHATBITCH" and hung up he was a mad cad. Like he was goin out with zelda wasnt he? And then THIS GUY AAAARG.

THen at his castle he was home alllll aloooooooone watchin the new season of seinfield when he got a massage from Link again. And I meant that,

"GANON LORD LINK WANTS U FOUR A THING PLEASE REPLY" monocleared his idiotguard guy.

"tell him I do like him sexuality but he needs to dump that bi-atch zelda first okay?"

"YES GANONGORE"

then he left

Then sum other stuff happned like a war or something but thats not impotent to the algebra.

And after some steamboat shenanigans Ganon came to Link.

"Ok if you really luvluvluv me like you say then you will give me a job."

But could Link do it?

THAT'S IS A CLIFF HANGAR BTW REVIEW NICEY AND I WILL GIVE U SQUEEZIES

(and the anwser was yes btw but thats a secret)


	4. thingshappenlikethat

A/N I just want u 2 now that its ok 2 be a stupid doctorwho fan whos ugly and gets a waster from his momdad every day thats ok i have dealt with lotsa stupid ppl before so its no biggie just try to control your ugliness OK?

ssssssssssssssssssssssssssss sssssssssssssssss5ssssssssss sdsssssssssss

So it ended up that link gave Ganon de dorf a swordjob then they went to bed together ecept they sleeped in separate bed but had long distance sex but zelda was watchin them throuh a two way mirror.

"HEYHE dont like your girlfiend" she shamrocked and then she came.

Then ganon took off his clothe and gave em to Link cause he was gettin shrimpy like the sea.

"Link ignore princess bitch and do my laundry" he nunned. Link ran awayh but with his clothes on but he was still naked hehehe.

Zelda was a flabbergast!

"Ganon you know that I'm pregnant so stop sexin people up or there will be meningitis!"

But ganon didnt know what that was because hes a doctor who fan so he just sat in a corner and cried all nite long.

"Wahwhahwah I'm a sostupid!"

Lucky Selda was a license so she gayed him sum lessons in smartiness.

"There ya go your smart"

Now ganon had to prove it to Link! so hed be a boyfiend again!


	5. itsokudidntgivememonomysisdidd !

A/N Well well well I think some ppl are jellous! You guys reallly need to consider that Im better than you here. BTW if you don't leave a good reveiw storm then I will personaly kidnap your wifes and eat them limb to libm!

uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu uuuuuuuuuuuuuuud

Ganon was a boyfiend and he sang link his new song "I am ur boyfreind never let u go somethin gentlemen lalala"

Link was so impressed he gave.

Then the nazi Zelda came on a camel and struck twelve.

"Here is your doom. !" she cured then she shot her supermachinegunrocket at ganon.

he refracted the bullethings though and they instead hit zelda's grammy.

"Noooooooo" she screeched, she was blown to ittybitsy fun dip bits.

"Haha you missed me" zelda puked then she shot again but this time she was so wrong that she hit herself.

"Noooooooo" she screeched, she was blown to a death.

Ganon laughed and got naked.

Then he went to hyrule castle and overthrow the king who didnt have zelda anymore so he suicided then ganon was king of hyrule and could gay marriage but he didnt cuz thats a bit icky but he did have lotsa sex with his boythangs.

But then there was a WAR of the WAR!


	6. not a thang

A/N Stop bein such gays u guys are making me look like a bad girl when its you who should die so go die!

Oh and this chaps dedicated to my bff hyliagrace thanks for the support you my maid of honor~

lillllllllllllllllllllllllll llllllllllllllllllllllllllll llllllllllllllllllllllllllll llllllllLlllllllllllllllllll llllllllllllllllllllllllllll llllllllllllllllllllllllllll llllllllllllllllllllllllllll llllllllllllllllllllllllll

After the war the king and his kings had a tea party that Ganon had in his houseboat. At the party there was kesha who sang her song We Die Young and they partied lik it was two thousand eighty niner.

After the brunchthere was an esplosion from the factstory. Inside there is goop, lotsa goop, thick and it was creamy like white slime and it came from.,...Link.

"Link you dumbarss" zelda cried then she cried.

But no one cared shes a women thats what they do only i dont becuase I'm a manly woman but Im not a lesbo you jerks!

Anyway she was a biatch so who cared? not me.

anyway Ganon wrapped link up and mailed him back to the kingcastle where majoramask was and they had sum chicken soup for THE SOUL.

Then link told the storu of why he was a person that he was raped and almost died a million tims but he was saved by ganon only it was him in disguise and was made into a goodie two pins but then the sky raned frenchmen on him and he, was basted inthe face by a dragqueen.

Lucky ganon he got a way with the words and soon link was as a new baby again. Now Ganon had a son but could he survive the ZELDAPOX!

I know that thischaps soooo confussing but don't worry I plan on explaning things soon it's sorta lik doctorwho except not stupid.


	7. yes a thang

A/N orru for the long time in the upadate but I was gettin spayed and neutered all up in herre

and by that I mean i had sex with my boyfiend for the first tim but the sad thing is i dumped him rite afterwards because hahahahahahahahahahahahah!

...jkbk...

so i was gettin sexed by my boyfriend link when ganon came into the room but I hypnod him with my powers of the sex side and he was my slave. Of corrosion I was the pretty perfect queen of the land becuase i killd zelda in the face after she was like "NO bich" but that doesnt matter becuase I got my mckie dees ice tea which was only fifty sense because employee discount (ikd but I work there).

I had on my clothes and then I took them off and did my business right in the middle of the throne roo.m Everyone was all "what the hell heck wahta ho" but then they saw me nekkid and it all made sense.

JUST KIDDIN that was all just a dream.

Actually it was Link that was givin a job at mcdonald by Ganon because he had to PAY THE RENT and Link was a girly boy so he couldnt because of the paygap because of the press. BTW he loves celine dion. Anyway Link just sold me a lamburger when I got a text from my bff brittany.

"Hey gurl why whonet when"

"ok aseeu latas byeeee!"

then I left and went to my house my boyfriend who i sexed up wasnt there anymore. (BECAUSE i dumped him)

So i made some lasagna and it was so sexy i cried.

I ate it and watched a movie

It was a good movie

And then I went to bed but not before making the bed and then I went to bed sleeep

When I woke up it turnd out that I was late for school omg but back to Link just for a second.

He was up all nite sexting to Glee and then he cried sum more. Ganon was sooo maad because he was tapin the show but the tape was Ganons wedding tape.

"Hey u bitch stop it rewind the tape"

"no its glee i like pie"

"well then I guess I have to unleash...the thing!"

OMG WHAT THING REVIEW 4 NEXT CHAPTER


	8. the prom

A/N LOL so Im gonna continued this.

I was in debasement with the water cooler with a keg of conan and link was there. He was drinkin and drivin cuz his parents was not home and then we had a bit o sex,

BB

Ganon was the maddest. he herd about my preganant belly and knew link was not payin up the child support so he sued and we were on judge judy.

"you are ugly and i banish you!" she hammered with her black dude and then link was sent to a prison in seattle where his soul could rest in peas.

Then i flipped my topaz hair and ganon was so flipped out that he flopped on me and squigged.

"Ganon getaoff me u man" I lecterned so he did and then judge judy found out but she didnt care becuase i threw money at her.

at the bakery the crime was scened.

I had to get the actors in line so i calld up there mommas and they were in trouble oooooooh

So i was elected director and then all of hollywood was in my hand.

But then there was a investigation into ethics lead by the ethicsd police who were irish and they found out that i was too pretty for the job cus anyone as purty as me shud be on camera not behidn the wheel and texting cus thats dangerous but Im such a goood driver i can do it anyway which is why link askd me to drive him and ganon to the prom.

"But i asked zelda 2 the prom 22" he gargled lucky ganon didnt here.

"Its ok i'll take care of that bitch" i pumpkined then I got out...my shotugun.


	9. The rap part 2

A/N I got so many gods for this storu that i just had to rwite more more more!

btw this is all a rap battle betwenxt link and GanonHore

ganon rapped what u doin with my flue abad shiz ima have sex with u mother and then i eat fish

link rereapped haha no hate i got a full plate eat some salad sharks

Then ganon rapped I dont think so but u ugly like shorty hot lik a lollipop

then link raped well i be a monkeys uncle

Then ganon raped to not to be for the shakespeare crap

Then they both went to bed it was gettin late but be4 so ganon took a shower of power in the shower like a shower he took for shower it was a shower that he took be4 bed that he took

How can you not underplan that unless yiour a fool in sandwich case I have to deport you. Excuse me your guly.

Anyway on the pirate ship zelda was fitting the alien invader but the alein was not a mexico it was from a nother planet like the moon.

But zelda was so unsexy he killd himself with a pencil iron.

Meanwhist back in connetikut a boy discovered the moon but he didnt know it was the moon cuz his name was hyliagracie or whatevs and he was stupiddddd (ps thats a burn)

Oh and the doctor was there but he died becus he sucks too much

Then I totally got a boyfiend but was it ganon or link?


	10. To Africa part1

A/N KK its been awhile but I got the feelings that the story that I have wrote shouldbe updated like maybe i dunno more.

So I have wrote much more 4 all u lucky clams enjoy bithces.

ZSelda was a coming up the road. things were grim and gettin grinner. The sky was

dark with the darknessof the day and I was inside checking the weathe reportes, it was impotent because i had a picnic unkow and where do peopel even get those llittle baskets? cus I like shopped forever to find one but i cant find one so I guessmaybe I'll have 2 pac everthingn in a shopping bag but Im bringing the condoms if u know what I MEAN );

But back 2 topic zelda was doing somehting and then she was in my house room.

"zelda" zelda said

"what u want" I wrote.

"Get me sum sex protection i need it cus link wants to intrude me" she bugled.

"I aint no ho go to lowes if u want sum" i snorted then i kicked zelda out but its all coo,l it's like on fresh prince when will kicks that black guy out unkwo?

over in asia tho things were gettin crazy. ganon beat up the kings of china and ruled there and he also got that hiphop person to be his slave. but lets get to the sexy part. The sex!

I disguisted myselves as a hiphop poser and posed as a hiphop person that was the slave that was gaonons in china in asia over there.

"Hey hip hop hophiphopophi" i rapped. "i ho bitch nom viola" it was so convincin that ganon sexed me up rite there in front of Obama. and he joined in!

But after wards it turned out it wasnt ganon it was link.

But there was a secret, But there was a sexcret.

me and zelda were preganant...with the same baby!

omg thats a cliffster 4 U! btw if u must know Im a girl so stop with all, the guy stuffs ok? its like ob noxus.


	11. master nice guy

A/N I just had a though what if insteed of zelda i calld her anna becus thats my cats name?

anna was in the drawing room painting a prostate of me. then link came.

"link go to a garden and pick a pep of peckers 4 me" she slurped. link was a lil tipsy cuz he saw annas boob and was totally drunk so he hit her hard in the face

Anna was blood on me so i hid the body in da fire plastic, the police came but i sexeded them and they went away. lana del rey was there and saw what i did an took notes so she cud report what i did 2 the police and they gav me a metal of hope 4 my servicess. splice it to say i was a bomb.

of courses there beith the manner of link but i took care of it afterr all i was my boyfriend and he had an erectation so i blew him up. then i was like bitch u blew up on my face so i kickd him with my fists and he died all over agane lucky i already dug his grave justin case this mite have hapened. it was in mexico tho so i drove there in my care that i got for my sixteen birthday it was frum anna but it was crap cus she was a slut and slutted it up with sluts so i had to take it 23 the mafia 2 clean it with the SOLS OF THE DAMNED

then whadayaa know lana del rey sang her song Poker face and we partydanced until sunset rise, there was a problemo anna WASNT RALLY DEAD SHES ACTULLY ... LANA DA RAY!

omg what happenings next i know but u dont becuase ur stupid but thats ok im not a slut.


	12. Booty

A/N My freind broke up with me he said "if u want sum sex we can stilll have it but other wise Im dating some body el se now" so Im in emoticon distress so that was why.

Anna was dawg in the livin room. I was behind her, i was holding a KNIFE and dont worry Im not gonna kill her oops i slipped and cut of her toes. she was like aah but then i hospiced her and it was all ok shes got no toes now but thats impotent later on remember that.

Link was in my bedroom ((we had lots of sexxxxx) and he was naked?

I asked him "u dont have a disease do u" and he looked away lucky he was hot so i didnt knife him then but i did think bout the finances of the future cuz he got fired from his job as he was so hot the booby lady who is da boss got a sexually harassment Claus against him and his lawayer who was buffy the vampyre slayer was drunk so he got into court wich was on a friday and iwas getting my hair done up for a wedding becus anna was gettin marreid but she got no toes so she got sum speciality shoes from a store in london that was run by lady gaga and the shose were so expensive that link had to get a job with the booby lady and thats why e had to move in with lana del gay.

Lina, will u marry me" link said to lana da gay who was smokin hot in her fifteen inch stiletos.

"heaven is a place" she said and they kissed.

Ooooh i was pissed

Like who propanes in public? and i was right there except i was at home but u know.

Link was cheating on me and i had to settle the game for evens.

"link you was cheating on me and i had to settle the game for evens. "i screamed softly.

"Nooooo", he whimpered and tried to sex me up but hes on the clock and the booby lady saw him and fired him.

"Its ok, we are born to die" lana del rey beguiled and she reposted her bootiful lyrics and i melted.

But then i got a call frum lanas doctor and shes preganant with my baby!


	13. CRAZYBISTCHS

A/N I was suspenders from school 45 taking my cloths off so i hav extra time to write the word for tHISSSTORY

Samus and you are in the bedrroom with/thelites out. its sooo sex but u dont have tampons! what do I do?

Thats an easy one 6 I got out mahpoket tazer and gaze d samus in her things and she spackled.

"thats what ;u get 4 killin nikki minaj" i computed then i hid the body in her coffin. it was a verry old coffn that was haunted in da eighteen sevens or somethin but its old enuogh to trap her spirits and torture her forevs. i was so turnd on by the sex i was watchin on my ibone doin this that i had sex.

then i went outside the inside and calld mah boyfield who is not link cuz hes gay now.

"hey zelda wanna cum over' i apologised,

"no way '' farfuted the voices of miley cryus

i was frekkin out i mean miley what u doin

"its ok, im dead but u can die 2 so thats cooks anyshay im going to HAunt ur Link so hell never get another girlgird angain.

so i went to the baloney and sang opera but like oned irectino style gettit and it was ejaculated.

my song ((btw i hav an album calld Algi Princess Diary" becam a number 1 hit on the tv. its also the new national anthem if mccain is relected )cuz he promised)

anyway zelda came over and we listed 2 my new song from Algi Princess Diary that becomed an umber 1 hit on the tv. its also the new national anth

she stole it frum me like she did my virgin!

oh and i luv ham but does any1 luv me? NAYONE ANYONEANOYNEANOYONEANYOANEANYONEANYONEALUVMELVUMEL UVEMLUVMELUVMELUVEMLUVEMLVUEM

cliff hangar!


	14. ganons love part 2

A/N so i'm in high school now so expet me to not update exception for now because of it

Link was on the floor, hes very happy becuase hes a manslut and i hit him and his plesure was pain.

"ow ow this is painful tomy body" he owed as i slapped his booty. "ow ow" he feeled.

"shut up"I laid then i smacked him up but not his boy area becasue that would be to rude for horseplay. BYTHE WAY my long super pink green hair was so long today that everyione was talkin bout it and were takin pictures and doin other photo sfutt so i did a little booty dance.

Link was being a slut tho and started cryin bout how he dont a respect so I fed him some kerosene i handmade.

"ahahhahhahaha" he impolated then he burned it down like paramore oh I have there new album nooobs so get it cuz it rocks.

bts i was haileys bff a year ago b4 she got famous

anyway selda was all "what u want bictch" and i gave her the cookie. but gannon didnt know about it. In the dungeon he was with his sex girl squad of guys so a bit distracted then i cast my secret spell and made him fallin love with me.

"algi", he whored "you didnt need the spell cuz I'M IN LOVE WITH YOU"

part 2 cums tomorow so get ready!


	15. ganons love part 1

A/N THIS IS THE SECOND BEST STORY PART OF THE FISRT ONE PREVIOUSLY

Link like the handlessome man he was rapped 4 us to celebrate her new album "THE LINKA'" (its on itunes* He rap and rapped unitl he was so fly zelda we have a problemo" he accorded, "there is this army cumming and i cant rap back the master sword or else I trip and fall and break my tooth. "

but zelda has a good dentist due too insurance from me cuz she humped him so link fell and broke a tooth but at least he gets the sword am i riggt?

"NOW i have...the power! Jessi my luv cum with me!" then epona his winghorse came up and we saddled but the saddle was made of diamond and then the horse totalllly grabbed my boobs so I kickd it in the eyes and then it died all. over. my good shirt. and I saved my money 4over thirty minuets to buy it.

"what that bitch" zelda cried but at least shes not the doctor whos stupid and raped a squirrel. I calld the bank to place a money on a new avril lavigne album then i comforter her with my blankets. in my blankets she cried. i comforted her. "its ok, here is i" i comforted. The blanket was warm. with desire, then avril lavigne hersself came and sang her new song I"M WITH YOU to us and zelda was so contorted.

It was a blessed miracule, but the curse wasnt over yet. the horse bucked me over the rainbow and i landed in the deadlygraveyard flower patch.

:"OW!my bum" i rubbered my butt but it was so bootylickious that all the monsteers instead made me the queen and got me a record deal. (they were like skeletors and stuff but thats not important at all so pretend that nothin happend NOTHING)

My nails got done and i got my own dressing room for my tele debut, they canceleled doctor WHO for me becus every1 decided they hated it, everyone on its a whore.

But then ganon challenged me to a tv battle dOUBLE oR nOTING;!


End file.
